Class 8 have been working very hard learning about mystery and suspense writing. Linked to this, we have watched a brilliant film called ‘The Red Turtle’ which has many twists and turns along the way. To finish this genre of writing, the pupils independently produced a final piece about a key moment in the film. We hope you enjoy reading them and please comment on them.
Thank you,
Mr McCann
P.S. Remember if commenting to not reveal your name e.g. Bob’s Dad
Leslie Manser Blog 
That day, the weather was against him, as it was pouring down with heavy rain. The sky was gloomy, whilst the wind and rain was causing the ocean to become rough. As he made his way into the woods, he realised that even the thick luscious leaves wouldn’t cover him from the heavy rain. He picked up as many branches as possible and started dragging them back to the shelter. Suddenly, it was if the weather was playing a mean trick on him because the rain had stopped and the clouds had gone to the horizon. The sky was bright blue and the sand dried out once again in the blink of an eye.
Feeling the soft sand underneath his feet, the man glanced over to where the shelter was and noticed something wasn’t right. He couldn’t see the woman’s feet. In shock, he dropped the branches and leaves and ran over for a closer look. He noticed that the shell had been abandoned and all that was left was the shell under the shelter. His heart skipped a beat! There were no foot steps. She had well and truly gone!
Once he had recovered from the shock, the man walked for a short while before looking out to sea wondering where the woman had got to. He wondered had she become another red turtle? He frantically ran up the mountain and into the woods. Step by step, he covered more ground. He knew that he had to find this woman, and if he didn’t he would never ever forgive himself. The man dashed down the mountain muttering to himself, “Why was I so cruel to the red turtle? If I had kept myself calm and just turned my back and walked away, none of this would have happened.”
As he got towards the bottom of the mountain, he looked into the pool of water. When he looked up from the pool However he could not beloved his eyes there were foot steps but then he saw a woman, though he rielized he had just seen a tree not the woman. It was just the shape of the tree playing tricks on him.
Next the man checked in the pool of water but there was no Singh of the beautiful woman, the only Singh of life was the few fish that he remember tickerlying his feet the first day he had placed his feet on this island. As he followed The footsteps (that were larger than his) they led him deeper into the forest and left him in the heart of the it. As he noticed a track of Brocken bamboo across the floor, as he followed it and they led him to the edge of the woods.
As he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, he thought once again is this the turtle way of getting its revenge on the man, is this the way of the turtle harming him not physically but mentally, or is this just another one of his dreams that had turned into a nightmare? Was it just his mind playing tricks on him again? He had no ideas why she had left her shell.
Suddenly The man broke into a run all the way to the shelter once again. He found what he thought he would find an empty, abandoned turtle shell. As the man stared out to the blue abyss, he curled up on the deserted island before he lay on his back he stared up at the stars knowing this was his fault that the woman had gone missing. He settled down to get a good night rest so that he could try and hopefully find the beautiful woman tomorrow. Even if it takes to sacrifice his life for hers he will do it , but if he doesn’t find her he will never ever forgive himself for harming the red turtle. If only he could turn back time and have ignored the red turtle, he knew he shouldn’t of harmed the turtle ever! The silver sparkling Stars gazed down on him as he slowly drifted of to sleep. Hoping he didn’t get a nightmare about not finding the woman.
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Your work has some really good detail in it and you used some really good language:-D
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Good work Elysia excellent imagination
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The sun disappeared behind the heavy rain clouds. Drops of rain came down one by one, every drop getting faster and faster. Soon after, it was raining heavily and every step the man took was soaked. He became very wet and after a short while he was completely drenched. Soon he realised that the woman might be wet. The man quickly went to go check on her and found that there were small gaps in the shelter that he built. He marched into the forest confidently, every step getting stronger and stronger. The man started ripping apart bushes and collecting broken branches from towering trees. He carefully carried every branch he could find out of the forest. He walked out only to find that the rain had stopped and the clouds had drifted away to another island far away where it would bother somebody else.
The man went to check on the woman as he couldn’t see her underneath the shelter from the hill. Never before, had he taken care of such a strange, gorgeous woman.He bent down into a squat position and peered into the shelter. He looked down, her feet weren’t there. He looked up a bit, her hands weren’t there! The man looked up once more and…her head wasn’t there! The woman was gone. She had abandoned her shell.
For a split second,the man started to panic. He was shocked, stunned and curious about where she went. How did she wake up? He almost thought she was dead. The man checked on her everyday and she didn’t move at all! He thought for a second. Maybe she was moving but very slowly. He couldn’t just stand there. He had to find her! The first place he thought she could be was the blue, shiny and elegant ocean. He ran to the water and peered into the horizon. There was no one to be seen. The man thought harder and harder about where she might be be, when an idea came into his head.
Through the dark, green, grassy forest he went. The man found a deep pond of water in the middle of the forest. He looked around for a while, suddenly he saw wet, fresh, thin footprints on the sand. Those footprints were not his. They were the woman’s footprints. He followed the long trail until he reached a large hill. Tired and hungry he climbed up it as fast as he could. He looked desperately for hours. By the time he decided to give up it looked like it was almost the night. The sun started to slowly come down and the moon could be seen in the opposite side of the sky.
Exhaustedly, he stumbled back onto the beach thinking that the girl had actually disappeared for good. “Who was she? Where did she go? How did she turn from a turtle into a woman?” he whispered to himself as he laid back on the cold, grainy sand. After a long day of searching he looked upon the stars and drifted off into a deep sleep. Time went by like a rocket or a bird flying in the sky and the stars and the moon had gone just like the girl. The light blue sky could be seen for miles and the burning sun would blind anyone who looked at it. The man got awoken by a strange splashing noise from close by. What was it? Was it dangerous? Could it hurt him? Or was it just a nightmare…
– Kara Class 8 The Red Turtle
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Wow Jack good job you did well 🙂
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I like all of your detail and that you used lots of punctuation 😀
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Too many days for a man on a dry and cold island, he thought he had been there for almost seven weeks. He stared into the mysterious water and saw something in the distance. He jumped into the water risking his life for something, he wasn’t really sure what. It was just a barrel of air and nothingness. The man started to make a raft. For days on end he collected wood to hopefully get off the dry and cold island.
It was midnight and the man felt tired. He rested his head upon the golden towering sand that felt like a sinkhole which would never end. He fell into a deep sleep. Out the corner of his eye he saw a bamboo structure. The man felt happiness inside. He followed the path to the structure. With excitement, he ran and jumped on the bamboo structure, he felt weaker and lighter and started floating up and flying around. Something pinched his leg. It made him jump. He felt the cold wet sand on this back and the mirage faded away to reveal the grim reality.
The man went out on his raft. He didn’t like the sea, but he had to do something to leave the island. Suddenly, he heard something mysterious. “BANG” went his raft and he slowly looked over the edge. “BANG” went his raft again, but a lot harder this time. He had hit something big. The man longed for his freedom but as his boat split into thousands of tiny pieces he wasn’t sure he would ever get his wish. When he got back to the island he thought he was safe or was he…
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Around an island there were clouds circling, like they hawks hunting it’s prey. Suddenly a man walked out of the dark, wet forest carrying a pile of wet leaves. He was going to use them to cover the lady from the rain.Typically, the rain had stopped and the sun had come out. It was like the weather was agents him. He was annoyed because he had gone throw all the trouble of collecting all the branches for nothing.
Peacefully, he stared down at the blue sea. Until, out of the corner of his eye.Something caught his attention. Suddenly he dropped the branches. At the same time he started to run down to the bottom of the beach, which was hard as it was just sand he was running on.
The man came to the shelter, he had made for the woman. He crawled on to his knees and stared at the shell. He was wondering were the woman’s feet had gone? What had happened? His heart was racing then he peered into the shell and realised the woman had disappeared.
He stared into the sea hoping he would see the woman but he didn’t. He ran into the forest shouting. Eventually he found him-self at the top of the Island but still no sign of the woman. He made his way back to the beach and lay down on the sand lonely once again. The man stared at the beautiful sky and watched the glowing stars. He had given up he felt terrible because it was he who had killed the turtle . Was it his fault she had gone?
What was he going to do? She might have got hurt what if she had fallen down the same hole he had. All of these questions were running through his mined. His heart was racing once again. He wanted to keep searching but his body was to heavily to get back up. Calmly, the man though to him-self I will find her in the morning. Close his eyes and fell asleep.
The woman was still gone when the man woke up, he stared into the lagoon and there she was, the woman was in the blue lagoon with no clothes on. She was trying to hide for the man but he didn’t blame her. He started to walk away but then he felt pitiful for the woman. So he left the woman his white t-shirt.
By Emma
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Tiny droplets of silver rain fell from the gloomy sky, it was as if God was crying. The deserted man who had washed upon the island and made his way into the rainforest and collected some leaves to make a shelter for the ruby red turtle. Rapidly, he dragged the smooth, emerald branches that the rainforest had supplied for him. Never in his life had he been so tired. He was only running in and out of the rainforest carrying soggy, green branches of leaves to make a shelter for a turtle.
Shortly after, he returned to the sandy beach with a handful of leaves. As soon as he returned to the beach he started building a shelter for the turtle. Amazingly, the clouds opened above and the scorching sun appeared. It was like the heavens above were getting there own back, a revenge.
When he got back to the beautiful beach, he realised that the woman’s feet had disappeared. He looked under and her feet had disappeared. Then he realised that she had disappeared all together. He still couldn’t believe the red turtle had transformed into a beautiful, intelligent, red haired woman. What he hadn’t realised is that when it had started raining, she started moving it was as if the sky didn’t like the man.
Then he frantically started running round the island first he ran into the sea and started looking out into the ocean. He was worrying. Where was she? Had she ran off? Was she hurt? Did she not like him? All these questions were buzzing around his head Unknown to him where she had gone slowly he crept away from the sea. He then shouted for her “where are you come back.”
He than ran into the emerald rainforest. All these questions were racing around his head. Did she want to run away? Was she taken? If so who took her? And where did they take her?
Then he climbed up the mountains to look into the sea. Where was she? He was getting annoyed right now. Why did she run away? He was getting annoyed by her disappearance.
Frustratedly and tired, He lay on the golden beach trying to go into a deep sleep. But suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he saw her out in the sea. She had no clothes on so he left her his top. Then he turned away and walked off. Angrily, he lay down on the beach and fell asleep. Was it just a dream?
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i like how you started the sentences and described how he was moving. i also liked your way of time conjunctions!
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Very proud off my niece. Cannot believe that she is writing like this for her age. Her nanny is so very proud off her grand daughters intelligent and imaginative mind.
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I am so very proud that my daughter has written a piece of work that is massively detailed and complex in ability. Well done Mia keep up the good work.
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i like how you hide things from the reader and used the correct punctuation i loved reading it, i found it very intresting 🙂
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The heavens opened and rain fell heavily upon the island. After the strong rain fell, he started to collect bamboo and brown branches. He paused for a moment. He looked out across the transparent and torquise ocean, he stood on the golden sand gazing. He was gazing like the bright and yellow sun was looking down at him. After a while, slowly he walked up on the steep,foggy and green moutain towards the dark green misty forest. The forest was green. Multicoulred Leafs blew around him.
Afterwards, he went down the dark green misty mountain and he found himself at a crystal and blue lake. He went to collect bamboo to try to build something out of bamboo. Suddenly, he dropped his bamboo and he sees that the turtle has vanished and the girl was gone. Where is she he thought to himself.after He rumbles through the bushes and still cant find her.
He looked out into the seven seas and he saw something. After a while , he thinks. ” what is going on”. Do you know?carefully, he lay down on the golden sand . He felt arkward. Was it a ollusion? Something was suspicious he had to find out what was going on! His heart raced.He layed down imagining
finding the girl and saying good bye to her.He drifts off to sleep slowly. Do you think he finds the girl or not find the girl. The stars in the sky were so bright that it was blinding him and it was so bright.The moon was full and he was so Tiered. It was sunset.he is trying to drift off but noises are coming from the trees and tweeting and he drifts off to sleep.
The next day something catches his eye it was a fish that was in the transparent turquoise ocean it was a enoumus fish.he is very cunning to try to catch the fish.
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I liked it when you said when the heavens opened above 🙂
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I love your opening sentence when you said the heavens opened and rain fell heavely
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I like your fronted adverbials and how you used adjectives😊
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Thank you charlie
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i love how you said the sky opened and the rain fell. i also like the vocabulary that you used!
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THE RED TURTLE
As quick as a bolt of lightning, it started raining onto the poor man and the cosy cover which was made out of bushy leaves and forest green branches. All of a sudden, his eyes were glued onto the beautiful and astonishing woman because the rain which brought sadness to the world was going onto the broken shell. So he ran fearlessly to the rainforest and got some wet branches in the torrential rain. It was like a tsunami which hadn’t caused any harm, but made everything cold and wet.
As fast as he could, the man took half an hour to walk back to the beach and the branches were that heavy he had to carry them on his shoulders. The leaves blew in the wind it was like one of those bow up body’s in the car dealerships. All of a sudden things didn’t seem right to him so he had butterflies in his tummy, he was anxious.What do you think happened?
So he dropped the delicate branches and he full of shock. The air pushed on his unusual face and blew his hair in the wind. He stopped and stood still like he was a hard stone statue.
In a blink of a eye there he was at the shelter, the beautiful woman has vanished into nothingness. He checked in the crystal clear ocean, it was that see through he would of easily seen the beautiful and amazing woman. He ran to the rainforest it would of easily took him over two hours to get there and he ran to the lake so he took a breath. His heart was racing we’re could she be!!!!
At the side at the misty lake there he was breathing to try and find the woman what was a mysterious turtle. The bushes were blowing in the wind it was like they were dancing to hope he could survive on this deserted island.
All of a sudden he began his journey into the depths of the fearless and forest green rainforest he searched all around the stranded island he was no longer left with hopelessness.He laded back on the wet and soggy sand what’s been there for days! The stars and moon were looking over him. He was gazing to his only friends. She might of been his figure in his imagination? Will she ever appear on this island again…
THE RED TURTLE
As quick as a bolt of lightning, it started raining onto the poor man and the cosy cover which was made out of bushy leaves and forest green branches. All of a sudden, his eyes were glued onto the beautiful and astonishing woman because the rain which brought sadness to the world was going onto the broken shell. So he ran fearlessly to the rainforest and got some wet branches in the torrential rain. It was like a tsunami which hadn’t caused any harm, but made everything cold and wet.
As fast as he could, the man took half an hour to walk back to the beach and the branches were that heavy he had to carry them on his shoulders. The leaves blew in the wind it was like one of those bow up body’s in the car dealerships. All of a sudden things didn’t seem right to him so he had butterflies in his tummy, he was anxious.What do you think happened?
So he dropped the delicate branches and he full of shock. The air pushed on his unusual face and blew his hair in the wind. He stopped and stood still like he was a hard stone statue.
In a blink of a eye there he was at the shelter, the beautiful woman has vanished into nothingness. He checked in the crystal clear ocean, it was that see through he would of easily seen the beautiful and amazing woman. He ran to the rainforest it would of easily took him over two hours to get there and he ran to the lake so he took a breath. His heart was racing we’re could she be!!!!
At the side at the misty lake there he was breathing to try and find the woman what was a mysterious turtle. The bushes were blowing in the wind it was like they were dancing to hope he could survive on this deserted island.
All of a sudden he began his journey into the depths of the fearless and forest green rainforest he searched all around the stranded island he was no longer left with hopelessness.He laded back on the wet and soggy sand what’s been there for days! The stars and moon were looking over him. He was gazing to his only friends. She might of been his figure in his imagination? Will she ever appear on this island again…
THE RED TURTLE
As quick as a bolt of lightning, it started raining onto the poor man and the cosy cover which was made out of bushy leaves and forest green branches. All of a sudden, his eyes were glued onto the beautiful and astonishing woman because the rain which brought sadness to the world was going onto the broken shell. So he ran fearlessly to the rainforest and got some wet branches in the torrential rain. It was like a tsunami which hadn’t caused any harm, but made everything cold and wet.
As fast as he could, the man took half an hour to walk back to the beach and the branches were that heavy he had to carry them on his shoulders. The leaves blew in the wind it was like one of those bow up body’s in the car dealerships. All of a sudden things didn’t seem right to him so he had butterflies in his tummy, he was anxious.What do you think happened?
So he dropped the delicate branches and he full of shock. The air pushed on his unusual face and blew his hair in the wind. He stopped and stood still like he was a hard stone statue.
In a blink of a eye there he was at the shelter, the beautiful woman has vanished into nothingness. He checked in the crystal clear ocean, it was that see through he would of easily seen the beautiful and amazing woman. He ran to the rainforest it would of easily took him over two hours to get there and he ran to the lake so he took a breath. His heart was racing we’re could she be!!!!
At the side at the misty lake there he was breathing to try and find the woman what was a mysterious turtle. The bushes were blowing in the wind it was like they were dancing to hope he could survive on this deserted island.
All of a sudden he began his journey into the depths of the fearless and forest green rainforest he searched all around the stranded island he was no longer left with hopelessness.He laded back on the wet and soggy sand what’s been there for days! The stars and moon were looking over him. He was gazing to his only friends. She might of been his figure in his imagination? Will she ever appear on this island again
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The Red Turtle
Another day on the island, it was pouring it down with rain. The man was marching in the drained forest. The leafs were as wet as a slimy pond. It was like God above the clouds was sulking. Never in his life had the rain been worse than this. He never thought that the rain would just stop, it was like the gods went against him. As soon as he could he ran out of the forest to go back to the shell and saw if anything was wrong…
Later that day he felt like he was paralysed and he did not feel like he was very well. He had a funny feeling of what had been happening back at the shelter. As quick as he could he ran back and dropped the bushes. He stopped… What do you think happened? He looked in side the shel that was in the shelter. He did not see anything just the broken shel with nothing in. All he saw was the empty shell.
So he ran to the sea and looked over it and nothing was in his site. So he ran to the forest and did not find anything in the forest gust wet. Where do you think she was? He ran across the flooded forest that was drained with water. All there was was just wet branches and wet bushes. He did not find her in the rain water, but he fount some evedence. The evedence was footsteps what he did not do. He wanted to give up. Then he ran up a hill and he tried to get a good view of evedence or the woman. But he could not see anything in his site. He was tied and eggzorsted so he was dragging his feet back to the shaw so he can get back to the sea. Then he lied down and rested with disappointment in front of a mossy rock. He felt like the gods were going against him with everything.
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Well done Toby. I Like how you said the forest was drained with rain water. You need to check your spelling and tense.
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i like how you said the leaves were wet like a slimy pond and how you used a range of vocabulary! 🙂
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THE RED TURTLE
As quick as a bolt of lightning, it started raining onto the poor man and the cosy cover which was made out of bushy leaves and forest green branches. All of a sudden, his eyes were glued onto the beautiful and astonishing woman because the rain which brought sadness to the world was going onto the broken shell. So he ran fearlessly to the rainforest and got some wet branches in the torrential rain. It was like a tsunami which hadn’t caused any harm, but made everything cold and wet.
As fast as he could, the man took half an hour to walk back to the beach and the branches were that heavy he had to carry them on his shoulders. The leaves blew in the wind it was like one of those bow up body’s in the car dealerships. All of a sudden things didn’t seem right to him so he had butterflies in his tummy, he was anxious.What do you think happened?
So he dropped the delicate branches and he full of shock. The air pushed on his unusual face and blew his hair in the wind. He stopped and stood still like he was a hard stone statue.
In a blink of a eye there he was at the shelter, the beautiful woman has vanished into nothingness. He checked in the crystal clear ocean, it was that see through he would of easily seen the beautiful and amazing woman. He ran to the rainforest it would of easily took him over two hours to get there and he ran to the lake so he took a breath. His heart was racing we’re could she be!!!!
At the side at the misty lake there he was breathing to try and find the woman what was a mysterious turtle. The bushes were blowing in the wind it was like they were dancing to hope he could survive on this deserted island.
All of a sudden he began his journey into the depths of the fearless and forest green rainforest he searched all around the stranded island he was no longer left with hopelessness.He laded back on the wet and soggy sand what’s been there for days! The stars and moon were looking over him. He was gazing to his only friends. She might of been his figure in his imagination? Will she ever appear on this island again
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I like when you said astonish woman Charlie
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Well done charile. I really like your opening sentene because the simile is very relavant
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i like your descriptions and similes
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The red turtle
It started raining as if a whole lake had fell out of the sky. Annoyed,the man ran to collect branches from the dark gloomy forest. He grabbed the most luscious,green,bushy and thick branches he had ever seen. Trudging along the man found his way out of the emerald forest. The man dropped the luscious branches.
After a few moments later it had stopped raining. There was a lovely sapphire sky with the sun burning in the background. The man swore the weather was playing tricks on him. The man looked over at the woman. Her feet were gone , they had disappeared. Cautiously , the man walked towards the woman to then see that she had disappeared into thin air . The man filled with questions frantically searched for the beautiful woman .
He ran around the outskirts of the forest searching for the woman. Then he rushed towards the lake. He trembled through leaves and bushes but then found that she was not there. Slowly , he climbed up the peridot hill blinded by the grey gloomy fog but still he couldn’t find the beautiful woman.
Hours later, the man returned to the wet beach filled with guilt and a burden . He looked around one last time but he needed to sleep so he rested his head upon the wet crumbling sand. As the bright , shining stars and his only friend the moon gazed upon him. He fell asleep. Would he ever see the beautiful woman again? Find out in the next story.
The end
By Bailey.
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I like how you said the whole lake fell out of the sky good job!
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i like how you said luscious i think your a good writer
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As the blue sky turned black, lots of rain drops scattered all over the man so he went to collect some branches. As he reached the core of the forest, the man picked up some branches that had rough green leaves on them and walked back to the beach. It took about half an hour to get back and the man was soaking wet by the time he reached the beach.
Suddenly, the rain storm slowly drifted away. He felt like it was pointless to get himself soaking wet for no reason. It was like the sky was playing tricks on him.Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something did not look right. As fast as he could, he ran towards the half made shelter. And he saw that his only one had vanished out of thin air he wondered where she could be. He panicked and panicked but soon he went to look for her.
First, with not that much hope,he looked all over the beach but the girl was not in sight. He checked every where on the beach. Under some rocks behind some plants under lots of shells but still nothing, he was starting to give up. As the sand slowly walked up his feet,he headed somewhere new to look.
As soon as he could, he looked all over the rainforest. He climbed tall trees but she was not there. So the man joyless and slowly walked back to the beach to rest his head on a rock.
The man slowly put his head on the rock and thought to himself what had happened? The star and the moon were supporting him they were his only friends. He was so tired that he slowly went to sleep.
The End!
By Chloe
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I really like how you compared rain to tears😀
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I really love your description And the similes:-D
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i love how you said as the blue sky turned black. 🙂
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Bravely he marched to the light wonderful forest as it rained like God was was crying above him.That day was the wettest day on the island he started getting covered by the wet damp bamboo .he went and grabbed a bunch of bam boo it’s like the gods were sulking in the clouds the rain was as bad as bad can be it could be a woman in a red turtle shell thinking back about what he did to the woman knowing what he did to her with the ban boo hitting her so much he must feel bad for the girl he hurt her feelings when he hit her with the ban boo it must of hurt her head he saw the shell cracked in half did it hurt
And went to make a structure but it stopped raining like the gods were playing tricks on him his face dropped suddenly out the corner of his eye he saw the women’s feat had gone and then he said she has gone missing… So they started searching for the woman
He ran as quick as he could he couldn’t find her any were he was at the sand beach at the time and fifteen minutes later he ran as quick as he could to the green and brown forest trees and saw footprints hoping. in the top left he saw her in the water swimming?He took his top off and left it for the girl because she had no clothes because she was a turtle she stared hiding under water like she was mad at him because what he did with the ban boo hitting her with the ban boo knocking her out .she must of bin mad at him for hitting her with the ban boo she must of been so angry if she hid under the water how did she breath under water for two months she must of drown.Or has she gotten out since or does she have gills because she used to be a turtle so did she have gills
She hid under water. Was this the way of the turtle getting him back? Was it all a illusion ?All the possibilities was flowing through his mind.he said to himself
Was it fake or was it real it might not be said the women it must of bin because they couldn’t hold there breath for that long or was really said the girl he still thought it was or was it it could of bin real it probably was real but you never know it could of bin fake the man thought it was real the girl knows if it’s real or not it probably won’t be fake actually it might not even happened pretty weird if you think about it
Tommy red turtle
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i like your description. if i was being picky i would tell you bamboo is one word but other than that i think its an amazing peace of writing! 🙂 🙂 😀 awesome!!!
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The day was one of the most wettest on the island, it was like the gods were crying on him. The man marched his way out of the forest. All of a sudden, the rain stopped. It was like the weather was playing tricks on him. The leaves were wet like a slimy turtle shell. The sand was squishy it hurt his toes the man was screaming in side his body he went to lay down and go to sleep for rest.
In the morning, something caught his eye. He knew something wasn’t right. The man had butterflies in his stomach. But wait, what was missing? There was something suspicious happening on the island…
The woman was nowhere to be seen. Shocked, he went searching for the woman. He looked across the sea. He was worried about where the woman was. He was gone for hours the man went to the woods it took him hours to search in the deep dark woods. He carefully started his dangerous journey the man was very worried “where is she” he said in his mind. He looked everywhere as long as he could After a long day of hunting for the woman, he lay down like he was in his own bed. But the stars gazed down on him and he didn’t want to stop searching. He had to get some sleep to search tomorrow. Where will he search next?
After he awoke, in the corner of his eye he saw a woman in the water. He was in shock what was she doing he wondered. He took his t-shirt of an went away. But why was she in the water? He went on a peak of the mounting and saw the women and ran to her. But what was she doing…find out in the next story… What will happen next?
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well done Riley I really like how you used rhetorical questions and ellipsius
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i like how you said something caught his eye! ❗ 🙂 😀
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The red turtle
Between the fish filled sea and the bright blue sky, the gods cried heavily. The man got more thick green broken tree branches to take back to the beach with him. He left the dark green forest and the shiny tear drop shaped rain stopped. He got angry and confused as all of his hard work had gone down the drain. In the corner of his eye, he saw something. Something was wrong. His tummy felt funny. something was gone!
Then in a flash the man ran down to the bottom of the
mysterious island but he was worried and started to search the island. He looked out to the horizon and then started to search the misty green forest, but then he got to a diamond clear lake.
Quickly frogs jumped into the lake and then his eye spotted foot steps. He ran up the hill and started to search some more but gave up and went back to the beautiful beach and fell asleep under the bright white sparkling moon.
As the sun rose, he awoke and found the beautiful woman in the sparkling sea. He started to run to her but she got scared and started to step. He stepped backwards as well and took off his seal skin top and left it for her to put on. Moments later, she stepped out of the amazing glimmering ocean.
The end
By Riley
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I like the part where you said ‘the gods cried heavily’ 😀
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i liked how you said shiny tear shaped rain i like the way you described it:!: 🙂 🙂 😀
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That day had the most terrible rainfall he had ever felt. The forest, his worst fear was dark, but he still went on to collect as many branches as he could.
Constantly he brought pile after piles of wood to the beach. Later that day he felt a tingling sensation. He knew something was wrong.
He ran back to the beach. He was looking at every place he could see. Murmuring to himself, he wondered what was going on. Suddenly, from the corner of his eye he saw the turtles shell. He went down the sandy wet hill. He saw the women’s legs were gone. He went to the other side of the turtle shell and he wondered where she had gone.
He started to searched for the women. He ran and ran and ran up the dirty mountain. He was exhausted from claiming up the steep rocky hill. He searched over the rocks but she was nowhere to be seen. He climbed back down the mountain, still worried. Feeling exhausted, he went to rest on the wet sand.
A small crab pinched his ankle, waking him up. In the water, the woman was back staring at him. Slowly he walked to the waters side. Then he took off his top and left it on the sand for her. Slowly he walked away…
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I like your description Riley
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As the sky was turning grey and gloomy cold tear drops started to come down getting heavier and heavier. The cold rain was coming down like a waterfall. The man went into the dark forest to collect branches for the woman to shelter her from the cold bad weather. As he got on to the beach, something caught his eye. He immediately abandoned the branches and quickly ran to the shelter where he left the woman. The man couldn’t see the woman’s feet they had vanished the hands were gone as well. He got on to his knees still a bit annoyed because he went into the forest when it was raining but when he got back and it was really sunny. As he crawled around the shelter he discovered that the woman was not there at all. The man was quite annoyed about the woman’s disappearance.
As the man walked near the coast, he was amazed that the woman was lying on the beach not breathing and some how she was now moving this was all a blur to him. The man was wondering where she could have gone to. He looked out into the misty calm clear sea. He could see that the woman might not be here but it was hard to see because of the fog. He decided to search every bit of the island as he did he was muttering to himself, “maybe the woman was trying to tell me not to leave the island but I was so cruel to her. Will she forgive me?”
He ran into the the gloomy dark forest. Maybe it was all a nightmare. She might be tucked in her shell safe but he still searched the whole island. He ran to a small and calm lake in the forest where he thought the woman would be. But she wasn’t there. He saw foot steps and the man was sure they weren’t his foot steps on the sand and followed them anyway. Would the footsteps lead him to the mysterious girl? As he followed the foot steps it lead him back to where he had started. He couldn’t find her so he decided that he would lie down watching constellations for a while still curious about where the woman could have gone to he knew that she transformed from a turtle so did she turn back into one? Where had she gone? Could she have left the island? Was there even a way off? Could he escape the misery? All of his answers were going to be answered…
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I like how you described the teardrops as ‘gloomy’ 🙂
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i like your words and vocab:-)
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Abby I love your peice of writing it like a peice right out of a book
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I love how told how many days he’s been on the island good job Toby:)
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Like your story elysia
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I like how you said a hole lake falls from the sky
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As the heavens opened above, the man ran into the dark and miserable forest. When he got to the hart of the forest he started to collect the fallen leafy branches to make the shelter stronger. As the man collected the branches he thought of the beautiful woman who lay so still. When he had as many as he could carry the man walked back towards the beach. He realised the rain had stopped he dropped the branches in anger! The man stormed to the shelter.
As he came in view of the shelter, he stopped. He couldn’t see her feet. Perhaps he was looking at the wrong angle. He moved to another angle but still he could not see her. He crawled under and she was not there! Where was she? He glanced into the turquoise ocean! He turned and ran back into the gloomy forest.
He looked under all the beautiful and flowering bushes and stared up at the sturdy trees “where could she be?” He thought. As he looked he started to feel sorrowful,worried,upset and confused. He searched all the more. When he got to the lake he had a drink. While he drunk he spotted her footsteps!
Suddenly he had a spring of energy and jumped up. He followed them up the slippery and deadly mountain. The summer breeze became stronger. As he reached the top the footsteps turned around and headed away! The man thought that it was hopeless.” I’m just going round in circles.”the man thought.”why did I leave her?why?” He started his long journey to the beach.
With a heavy heart he wondered through the dark forest hoping that she was still on the island because she was his only companion in the world! As he got to the beach he felt a wave of hopelessness washed over him. He stared out to sea. Had she left him alone. He started to feel like she wasn’t even there!
He lay back on the ever so gentle sand and stared at the beautiful sky and the beautiful stars. He wished she had stayed in her ruby red shell. He may not see her again now. Had she ran away from him? “Why did I hurt her. “He thought In dispare
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As the clouds opened above him, it started raining. It was like the gods were playing tricks on him. At that moment, he started to collect some branches for the shelter that he had built for the woman. After a while, the rain stopped upon him. He pulled the branches out of the forest but suddenly the wind started to play tricks on him and the leaves started to blow around like a tornado he could not control where he was going.
Suddenly he dropped the branches for the shelter but at very moment he saw that there was not a woman there so he quickly ran over to the shelter and looked if she was there or not but when he looked she wasn’t there so he ran to the front of the beach he looked everywhere but he still didn’t see her anywhere. But then he wondered into the dark and gloomy Forrest when he got deep into the Forrest he found a lake that had some foot steps next to it so he followed them it took him to the beach but he still couldn’t find her he felt really sad that he couldn’t find her anywhere. He was worried if he would ever find her again.
In a blink of an eye he saw some mountains so he decided to walk up them when he got up the mountains he tried to look for her but she was not anywhere to be seen. He ran as fast as he could down the mountains. He started to head towards the beach as he couldn’t find the girl anywhere. He lay upon the cold and wet sand. He looked up at the moon and stars, which were his only friends helping him.The man was lonely once again will she ever come back to see him.
The end
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I really like your writing it is beautiful it made me cry
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He went to grab more branches from darkness of the forest. After, he came back with the branches and saw an empty turtle shell under the shelter. Suddenly, the rain stopped and the horizon closed as if the weather was pulling a big trick on him. The man dropped the branches and ran to the bottom of cliff side and looked under the shelter the intelligent red haired women was gone from the shelter he made. He went to search the whole island. First he searched the forest and he found some foot prints. Then He we grassy mountin sides for an hour and then checked the mountins for about two hours. He nearly checkerd the entire island. He went back t He o the beach in about two minutest for a little break. The sun started to go down he used nearly the entire whole day. He was on the beach and he was only laying down and suddenly went to sleep. Will he ever find the woman?
He woke up and the suspicious woman was suddenly just standing there then he got up and ran all the way to her she ducked a down only little then he backed away then gave her some clothing to wear and left her to get on the clothing he gave her just his shirt. She left he found her pushing a shell into the open sea. He went to grab his broken boat and he pushed it all the way out to the open ocean. So he won’t see his old boat any more she was going into the dark and really quiet forest he was following her. She went to a wheat field on the island. She walked through it and it left an open trail of were she was walking and she stopped and he followed to were she was and he stopped and he was in a wired dream. A year later her, and him had a little child a boy even the boy was only so little and he began to get older when he was a toddler he found a glass bottle. The boy was exploring the island and fell down the hole his dad fell down his son was small enough to fit through the tiny hole in the hole in the mountins he saw a turtle the green turtle helped him get up from the bottom of the water is hen his dad dived in a grabbed him out. A year later when the little boy turned to a kid helped his parents collect all the clams and took the insides out of the clams it was good food to eat in there island.
They started to make more clothing and made some for them all and there little boy helped them make alot more than they wanted. When he was a teen in one of there son,s dreams was a frozen wave and he went a he could swim in the frozen wave it was stuck as it was then he woke up and, looked at the sky and then looked at his mother and father asleep laying on the cold wet dirt. He started the get up and walk on the beach and then after a few minutes went back to sleep.when he was old enough to go and do his own things with the turtle his dad sadly passed away. The woman turned back into a turtle and left the island.
The end 🙂
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